We're going for egg retrieval!!!

Again - been crap at updating, going for egg retrieval tomorrow (21st Sept) It's been bought forward a couple of days as I have reacted so well to the medication - yay, yet hmmm, as I am at quite high risk of overstimulation - which im still panicking about lol!


So how do I feel about tomorrow - ummm sort of excited, very nervous, I'm mainly hoping there are actually eggs in the follicles, and then hoping hubbys sample actually has sperm in, and then hoping they fertilise - so just 3 bridges to cross tomorrow! 


Hopefully, by the next time i write (which i plan on doing the day after retrieval) we will have conceived, and that 'child' would have been conceived in a different city to its parents....food for thought!

Ooops, forgot to update! I never was any good at keeping a diary!

Been a bit slow on the updating - mainly as we have ripped the bathroom out lol, so am spending a lot of time looking at tiles - oh the joy! 


Soooo, we had our first follicle scan, and its good news (yet I am still managing to panic!) 


We have 31 follicles, 13 were measuring over 10 on friday (which is a LOT!) So my medication has been lowered! 


The reason im panicking is, even though this sounds great - and it is, its fantastic - there is a risk of overreacting to the medication. 


This is called Ovarian Hyperstimulation - basically meaning i overacheive (well, that'll be a first lol!) If this happens, the transfer will be cancelled and I may end up in hospital quite poorly :-( Thus why I am panicking! 


I'm hoping this doesn't happen - and am taking all precautions possible. I've done a lot of googling and spoken to a whole load of ladies who have been through it, and have taken their advise. One piece of advice comes up a lot and that is to drink Gatorade, or some other such drinks containing Electrolytes. I've tried this, I even took a bottle to the gym, and my official opinion is - its disgusting, truly awfully disgusting.
So, I bought a powder called dialyte from the chemists - and it actually made me sick! So i'm back on the vile Gatorade - Americans, please, tell me why you drink this? Why?!!!!


Next scan is Monday so I will know more then. I'm hoping my eggs are taking a more 'slow and steady' approach now!


On a side note, I belong to an IVF Support group, and was amazed the other day when a good friend posted a picture of her embryo before transfer - I found that so amazing - mainly, because its like the earliest scan pic ever lol! 
And then it made me a bit sad - for all the scans i've had, i've never seen what i've wanted to see - so, maybe, just maybe, even if the pregnancy doesn't stick when they put it in my womb, maybe i'll have that photo to hold on to. 
I asked in the hospital on Friday whether we could get a picture like that and they said we could - I know its a tiny thing, but it means a lot to me, as silly as it sounds! 


Anyway, sorry for not updating - I can tell you loads about baths, shower enclosures and tiles though lol, I think Hubby is nesting (according to a great friend) he decorated the bedroom last week and now the bathroom! Its gonna look fab! 

Moving on!!

So, the baseline scan went GREAT! And we are officially 'turned off' :-) 


Now to reboot the system and grow those eggs! Started stimming meds (Gonal-F) on top of my Buserelin today  - so thats 2 injections a day! Great! 


Feeling tired, achey, and generally bleaurgh - but, I pray its all for a good cause!! 

Ridiculously emotional - Day 6!!!

I've finished the tablets (norethisterone) now, well 2 days ago and am feeling proper moody. Like one minute im ready to commit murder, the next I am sobbing. Great!! 


Its very frustrating trying to control your mood constantly - i'm not doing very well at it.....but I am trying to be nice I promise!! 

Not a lot of excitement!

Bizarrely, this mornings injection hurt more - i'm thinking different place, so must try to recreate yesterdays place lol. Oh - and must learn to do it quickly, not like a girl and go slowly - but then i've always been the 'peel a plaster' rather than 'rip a plaster off' kinda girl!


I'll be honest - I feel a bit sicky today, nothing bad, just a bit bleaugh - not very exciting so far is it!!! 

Transpires small pricks don't hurt.....!

Morning peeps! 


I am officially a brave bunny  - I have given myself the first injection of many! Woop!! Bit pleased with myself tbh!! Was slightly worried!! 


Thought i'd add a picture of my meds - so anyone coming across this site about to start ivf will have a bit of a sneak preview lol. Hopefully i'll add photos right......here goes....

Ok, so - above ^ is my little pack of stuff! Containing pills, needles, injecty stuff and wipes. How cool is that sharps box!! Am a bit of a twat tho - may have accidentally locked the sharps box so it doesnt undo - will be grabbing another one lol! 

^Scary needle - I took this just before injecting - the needle looks a lot worse than the actual injection felt!

And this is my morning stash of drugs - trusty old pregnancy vit, norethisterone pill and buserelin. 

So, side effects so far - Well, I feel a bit sicky and a touch dizzy but thats fine, My period has vanished which is also normal apparently - if not a bit disconcerting for me! Oh and a bit tired too - but then thats prob just cos im lazy and can't be bothered to go to the gym today! 

Oh - and i've booked my baseline scan to hopefully see whether i have 'downregulated' enough to start the stim stage - its next thursday the 8th sept - fx this bit works!!! 

Tablet 1 down!!

Tablet 1 down - Norethisterone today, starting Buserelin aswell tomorrow - injections, scary!! 


No side effects so far - lol, its only been a few hours ;-) 


The Chaucer is shut today as its a bank holiday - so I will have to phone tomorrow morning to book my baseline scan between days 10-14.


Finally, we're off!!

False start, but this time its for real!!

The threats of a show on cd18 transpired to be a big fat lie. So here we are on cd33 FFS - only 5 days late - typical right!! 
However!!! Its 2.30pm and i'm proud to announce......AF is a show!!!!!! As its after midday the tablets will start back up in the morning. Good job really - as I revoked the alcohol ban last night for my wedding anniversary and we drank rather a lot of alcohol. 


Finally we are on the GO of on your marks, get set.......I thought this day would literally never arrive - here's hoping we achieve the desired outcome! 

On your marks.......get set......

Well, cd23 today - and it looks like good old AF is going to make her appearance EARLY!!! Yay!

Been spotting for a couple of days - but can't start meds until my cycle starts properly. I thought it might be today - but im not quite there yet. But hey - I was expecting to wait another week lol! So - everyone get your war paint on and chant for AF to make her real arrival please!!

Been super busy the last few days - and i'm pretty sure this helps take my mind off of things - hopefully, tomorrow - I will be able to update having officially started - its just pills day 1 and then on to injections from day 2 - Argh!!!!!

Todays thoughts!

CD18, boring! I feel like i've been waiting forever! We are lucky enough to have our IVF funded by the NHS - but this, i have to be honest - has meant it has been the slowest, most painful process ever. There is a lot of controversy of NHS funding fertility treatments - some areas of the UK have no funds, and some areas fund 3 rounds. We have been lucky enough for 2 fresh and 2 possible frozen. So, whilst I moan, I still feel lucky. 


One of the things that has made me chuckle over this process - which is a good thing, yet still feels like an insult - is the fact you have to fill out multiple declarations assessing your suitability to be parents. It makes me wonder......if every couple in the UK had to do this then how many would get to conceive.......?!! If you had to prove you could support a child, didn't have any medical issues, no criminal record etc etc just how many children would be born in the UK nowadays? Just my opinion, just saying.....! 


Saying that, I know a lot of ladies in the USA/Australia etc who have to rely in their medical insurance to pay out - I'm curious as to which is the better system, it makes me wonder which is best? 


And then I remind myself.....if this was 30 years ago, IVF wouldn't even be an option - and I very possibly would have died from the ectopics. Funny how life is sometimes.....!

What does the IVF process involve?

Today I shall give you a low down of my planned cycle. It is totally subject to change – dependant on whether I respond correctly to the medication or not.

Day 1-5 (day 1 being first day of menstrual cycle) Buserelin injections and Norethisterone tablets. This is to ‘shut down’ my body in order to ‘restart’ it.

Day 5-14 – Carry on with Buserelin injections. This is like a menopause, in super quick time – sounds fun right!

 At this stage my body will have shut down, and I will have a baseline scan to ensure we are at the right stage.

Day 15-29 – More injections – this is the stimulation stage, in which my ovaries are being stimulated in order to produce follicles which hopefully contain eggs. My ovaries, which are usually the size of a walnut, will grow to the size of an orange during this stage (ouch!!)

At this point, I will be going to the hospital constantly for scans to see if my eggs are the right size to be retrieved. Although this stage is meant to be 2 weeks, it can double, or even triple if my body isn’t co-operating – and hey, it doesn’t normally co-operate now does it!!

When, we get to the right stage, this is when they do the egg retrieval. The estimated date for this is 23/09/2011. This will involve being sedated and then in effect a needle will be inserted into my ovaries to retrieve the eggs.

The follicles that eggs grow in do not necessarily contain eggs. So, even if there are 20 follicles, there is still a possibility that none of those follicles contain eggs – at which point the cycle is stopped, and we will try again later. If, on the flip side, there are too many follicles, I will have responded too well to the medication and they will have to stop the cycle as I will be at risk of Ovarian Hyperstimulation (OHSS)

So, if we get through that bit, and they retrieve the eggs I will be told how many they get. 

Hubby will produce his little swimmers that day, and my eggs and his men will then spend a romantic night in a petri dish and hopefully, if the sat nav is turned on (which if hubby is anything to go by is unlikely) the next day some of the eggs will have fertilised. If not, we start again after a few months.

If we have fertilised eggs then they will be grown in the lab for up to 5 days, the doctors will decide when to put the blastocyst/embryo into my womb. If any are growing well enough.

Lots of ifs and buts right?!! I plan on working up until this stage. Unless I am suffering very badly from the meds.

IVF is supposed to be even more stressful than divorce apparently!!! (It certainly has been testing getting to this point!)

So, finally, the winning embryo (if there is one) will be placed into my womb. And hopefully implant. This is the worst bit in my head as then we wait. For two weeks.

Those of you who know my story well, will also know of my fondness for weeing on sticks lol. This is the point I will need all of you girls to forbid me from having pregnancy tests in my house! (although im pretty sure hubby will take away all access to bank accounts so I cant buy a sneaky FRER!!)

If the cycle fails, we have funding for another fresh cycle. If we get more than one viable embryo we will freeze some – which will give us another two cycles on the NHS – as frozen.

I expect everyone to have lots of questions lol, which I may or may not be able to answer.

I’ll be honest, I’m not looking forwarding to losing control in such a dramatic way – my body never does as it is told (if it did i’d be somewhat shorter than I am and a hell of a lot thinner!)

For those of you wondering about the success rates – well the chances of it working are around 35% - not brilliant is it?! Not to mention all the other problems that could occur if it does work.

Shockingly, despite having no tubes, I am still at risk of an ectopic! Apparently, the embryo could still make its way into the tiny remainder of my tube – I hope to god I am not this unlucky. But then, I never thought I could be that unlucky in April did I?!  

Hopefully, I have given you a bit of an overview regarding the process. I am trying to keep the language simple and not use TTC abbreviations (trying to conceive) although, it is difficult!!

Is there anything I can do to increase the chances? I hear you ask! Well, yes there is, Acupuncture is meant to be fantastic for IVF – and it was down to acupuncture that I fell in April. I do plan on having a few more sessions, however, am finding it hard to find the £35 a week at the moment – I will try and have a couple of sessions though. I am also on a health kick at the moment – cigarettes have gone, and I’m spending a lot of time exercising, in order to get myself as healthy as poss (having said that, I ate a huge chuck of chocolate cake last night lol)

I promise my posts won’t all be this long – it’s just a case of laying the foundations in advance of starting so all the info is here for my girls to see!

My background, and why i'm having IVF.

Well, here goes.........


I'm going to start by telling you a bit about me, my background, why i'm having IVF and what it means to me. I aim to make this an informative blog, easy to understand and (if i can manage it) a truly honest account of what happens during the IVF process. 


So, who am I? 


My name is Jen, I am 29 years old and I live in Kent, in the UK. I have been married to my husband (31) for 6 years, and in a relationship with him for 13. We were childhood sweethearts <3 We both work full time. We have two gorgeous springer spaniels - Oscar and Lily, Lily is nearly 4 and is my angel, I love her more than anything in the world. Oscar is also nearly 4 and is blind, he suffered trauma in the womb and we rescued him from a family who had left him alone in a house for several weeks. He is the most beautiful boy and he is so happy! We also have Marley the chinchilla, a funky fun pet, full of antics! I love photography, nature and most things science. 


My background and why i'm having IVF!


Well, this is a long complicated one, but i shall try and simplify! 


At 20, (2002) after 3 years in a relationship with hubby I came off of birth control, and we figured, if it was meant to be id fall pregnant eventually. 
In 2005, aged 23, I fell pregnant :-) at which point a huge cyst was discovered weighing a massive 17kg! I lost the baby, and I also lost 12 inches from my (what i thought was just stubborn tummy fat) waist. I also lost my right fallopian tube at this time, due to the cyst. I got out of hospital 6 weeks before we got married - and half of my wedding guests didn't recognise me lol! We started really 'actively' trying from this point. 
2007 was the most rollercoaster year of my life so far. At the time, I had a springer spaniel called Poppy, she, like Lily was my world, my little girl. In Octomber 2007, I found out we were (7 weeks )pregnant again, needless to say we were thrilled! We were due to go on holiday a week later, and did so, we were so happy, on top of the world! 2 weeks later, our world collapsed. On return from holiday, my Poppy looked ill, very very ill. I took her to the vets the minute I saw her, and she died the next day due to a terrible cancer that had killed her from within - it was very aggressive and killed her quickly, she was 4 and a half years old. She died on Saturday 3rd November, and my world has never been the same since. On monday the 5th, we had a scan, to find nothing in my womb. I was beyond broken at this point - totally beyond it. I still can't really talk about tha time, which is why its helpful to type. I was sent home and told i'd miscarried. A week later I collapsed, I had been bleeding internally due to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy but my heart was broken, I didn't notice the pain. They operated and saved my left tube - as it was the only one, but damaged. 
In 2008, i suffered another early miscarriage - location unknown, baby number 3. 


At this point we went to my good old NHS doctor. 


We had test, after test, after test, for them to tell me what I already knew - I had scarring from the cyst, and one damaged tube. (honestly, i could have saved the NHS thousands! Its part of the process though) 
After a year of going back and forth, my consultant finally decided IVF was our only option. At this point, she decided to inform me that I weighed too much to be treated with NHS funding. To say the least, i was a bit miffed that she hadn't thought to mention this sooner. We ticked every box, except the BMI box. And I mean every box, no kids from any relationship, fertility issues, trying forever, employed, no criminal record etc etc. But, my BMI was 34, I had to lose over 3 stone. I had put on a lot of weight due to being miserable lol, so, I had to lose weight. Fair enough, I thought - anything I can do, and there was still the chance at this time i could conceive naturally - so, I started exercising like mad, eating nothing and trying naturally. During this time, I learnt pretty much everything there is to know about trying to conceive (TTC) and met some fabulous, gorgeous people along the way, who I couldn't have done without. I now have best friends all over the world, and I wouldn't be here without them. 


I hit my weight very early 2011, after lots of ups and downs, and she sent off the referral! I cried! And finally the letter came, we would start in May! 


Except April came, and my period was weird. So, I tested - could this be my miracle? I was pregnant! I had to have bloods done every 48 hours, to measure my levels, due to the large risk of ectopic. It started off ok, rising and nearly doubling, then it started doubling - I'll admit, I got excited.....could it be! Then the day of the scan came, I felt very very sick as i lay down on the table - could this be the day I saw our baby? The day we had been waiting for for 9 years? No, it wouldn't be the day. They couldn't see anything. I was broken once more. 
They operated, and took my second tube - I now have none and cannot conceive naturally. A month later, it got worse, my HCG levels weren't dropping. I had to have a ERPC/D&C to remove the twin. Two babies. And no tubes left. At 29 years old, with no babies. 


Sooooo!! I'm staying strong. I won't let this beat me. 


Today is August 11th, I am waiting to start my IVF cycle as soon as my period/AF arrives. 


I'm scared. I'm scared it won't work. I'm scared it will work. I'm scared of injections, egg retrieval, embryo transfer - I'm scared we won't get that far. And i'm scared i'll never be a Mummy, and that I will never make my husband a Daddy. I'm scared i've done something to deserve this, and I ask myself why. But, I won't be defeated, My mummy taught me that if you work hard you will achieve your dreams, and I believe her. 


I hope you choose to follow my journey, whatever the outcome.